Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
