apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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