it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
