it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize