i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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