What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
