so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
True strength comes from lack of pants
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
