My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize