forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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