In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
