My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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