I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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