i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
