the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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