When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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