Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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