i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
