do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
