grandma shit on top of the toilet
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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