I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
