Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
