It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
