She is in my trunk
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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