You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize