It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
