This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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