You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
