I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize