I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
