You smell like stripper and shame
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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