i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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