another moral hangover. fuck.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
