Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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