the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
