UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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