It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
