I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
