You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize