Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
