so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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