i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
