Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
