Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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