remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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