I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize