Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
