That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
