We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
