Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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