It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
