Got a toothbrush?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
