first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
