Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
