Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
