Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
