I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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