no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
