Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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