ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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