youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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