I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
